Who Wants To Save The World?

 

NASA is hiring a Planetary Protection Officer to protect Earth from alien harm!!

Apparently, NASA is currently looking for a Planetary Protection Officer to defend planet Earth from the threat of invading alien life!! True.

This is actually real government job! But before you get all excited, here’s what it’s really about – NASA needs a scientist to help fight alien life —but it is microscopic! The Planetary Protection Officer will be in charge of keeping our space exploration equipment free of contamination; from  earth microbes and also microscopic organisms from outer space that may be attached to returning equipment.

Oh, so a ‘cleaner’ then?

It got me thinking about what use I would be in a world that REALLY needed a Planetary Protection Officer. I have been a fan of science fiction stories for as long as I can remember.

I had comics and annuals of The Fantastic Four when I was a little kid. I grew up on a diet of Star Trek and Doctor Who. I love films like Contact (Jodie Foster) and Netflix series like The Expanse. And I suppose like many of us do, I place myself in the role of one of the characters; not always the MC, main character, when watching – it’s what makes us root for them.

I never wanted to be Captain Kirk, or Lieutenant Spock, strangely, I most aligned myself with Khan Noonien Singh.  Khan was a genetically engineered human from the late 20^th century. He only wanted a place of his own – he was a major player in the Eugenics Wars, tried to take over The Enterprise – but was left, stranded on a planet that was toxic, his true love died and Khan blamed Kirk for the rest of his life. I know, I know, not entirely a nice chap, but I couldn’t help feel sorry for him.

“Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish best served cold? Well…it is very cold in space!”

~ Khan to Captain Kirk

Later we had the redoubtable Captain Jean-Luc Picard and then Captain Kathryn Janeway. It took me a while to like Janeway, but when I did, I committed fully – but I never wanted to be her. I don’t think I am Captain material; even in my wildest fantasies. But was he, Khan, born bad or made that way?!

I think most of us fantasise the ‘if I could be…’ scenario when we watch films or read books. Super hero films being the most obvious. How many times have you had or overheard the ‘nerd’ conversation – “So, if you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

I haven’t got a clue – or didn’t have until I watched Heroes. Remember that one?

It was about ordinary people around the world discovering that they have super powers. Their lives intertwine as they work together to prevent a catastrophic future; who can forget ‘Save the Cheerleader, Save the World’? All the characters had a single superpower – except the evil guy whose ability was stealing everyone else’s – Sylar, played by Zachary Quinto, who late went on to be Spock! There was another character, Peter Petrelli who was a Paramedic, he was able to absorb other people’s abilities after touching them, albeit for a short while. So my chosen power is the ability to absorb powers from others (by Peter or Sylar’s methods! See! It’s Khan all over again!)

Among the Superhero canon, my all-time favourite was Batman. Who actually has no super powers, but was a billionaire highly trained physically and with ‘all the best toys’. Recently, my decades old devotion to the batty one has shifted – I still love him, still want to be him, but there’s a ‘new kid’ on the block for me – Deadpool. He is witty, tough, unpredictable, indestructible! Who wouldn’t want this? Oh, his face is a mess, like scary Halloween night in an abattoir mess, so he has to wear the mask. Would he ever work for NASA? I don’t think so. Would he ever fight to save the world from aliens, sure, if there was something in it for him I suppose. That something is his girlfriend, Deadpool after all, is a romantic; a scary, loopy, kick-ass romantic, but a romantic none the less. I think that’s what would drive him to save mankind.

But what about the ordinary folk, I hear you say, what about those who have no ‘special abilities’ and want to help save planet Earth from those pesky space invaders? I.E: YOU and ME? What sort of people will we need? Thinkers?  Muscle?  Builders? Carers? I know we need them all, but for the sake of my stupid argument, and in keeping with stories; there is only ever 1 hero, who will it be?

Some ideas for ‘ordinary’ people  – (other defenders of Earth are available)

Katniss Everdeen – The Hunger Games

Sherlock Holmes – Sherlock

Lyra Belacqua – His Dark Materials

Lara Croft – Tomb Raider

James Bond – James Bond

Buffy Summers – Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Rupert Giles – Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Frodo Baggins – The Lord of the Rings

Peter Quill – Guardians of the Galaxy

Rincewind the Wizaard [sic] – Terry Pratchett’s Discworld

Evelyn  ‘Evie’ Carnahan – The Mummy

I am surprised to see not one but 2 librarians in there, plus a librarians assistant (Rincewind, he never mastered wizardry and so helps out The Librarian – an orangutan)

 

‘I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O’Connell, but I am proud of what I am… I am a librarian.’

~Evie Carnahan, The Mummy

 

Forget the words of Bonnie Tyler – “I need a hero, I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night” or Tina Turner – “We don’t need another hero,”

Let the ‘little people’ be the hero’s (Good grief, I sound like something from Team America!)

Ever fancied yourself as a bit of a hero? How about the protector of mankind? If you had to choose a non superhero to be our Planetary Protection Officer  who or what would you be?! And why?

No pressure!

 

The Jonathan Green Interview

Good morning to you readers!And I have another Monday Interview for your delectation.

Today, I am very pleased to have bagged Jonathan Green, ridiculously prolific writer who is well-known and well-regarded in the Fighting Fantasy and Steampunk worlds. After conducting this interview, I had to wonder if Mr Green is himself a Time Lord, for all the things he manages to fit into his life. He has over 60 published works, he is a family man, he attends conventions; meeting fans and signing books, he edits work for anthologies produced by Snowbooks AND he still finds time to do interviews!! What a guy, read on, some of his energy might rub off on you…

Jonathan Green is a freelance writer. He writes science fiction and fantasy novels for adults (Pax Britannia), adventure gamebooks for children (Fighting Fantasy), and non-fiction books for all ages. He has written for various franchises, from Sonic the Hedgehog and Doctor Who (The Horror of Howling Hill), to books set within Games Workshop‘s Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 game universes.

https://en.wikipedia.org

Hi Jonathan, Welcome, and thanks for agreeing to be interviewed for my blog; Flailing Through Life…

 

1. And talking about flailing; do you ever find yourself ‘flailing through life’?

 All the time! There always seems to be too much to do and never enough time to do it in. I have children, so a fair amount of my time seems to involve feeding them, cleaning up after them, or ferrying them to one place or another. I also have a conventional part-time job. The rest of the time is spent writing, promoting my writing, crowdfunding my writing, or coming up with ideas for things to write about.

Not that I have any trouble coming up with ideas – I already have more ideas than I’ll ever have time to write, I am sure – the trouble is that there’s always a new, shiny idea demanding my attention while I’m trying to finish off something else I’m already committed to. For example, at the moment I’m writing a book about the history of Fighting Fantasy gamebooks but my brain’s decided now would be the perfect time to throw up an idea for a new anthology, another gamebook, and a series of short stories.

  

 

2. What were you like as a child?

Bookish, creative, artistic. I’m an only child and so I grew up making my own entertainment. I can remember making little books, at age 6, and even before that drawing simple comic strips. But I think from the moment I realised someone actually had to write the stories in the books I enjoyed reading, I knew that was what I wanted to do with my life.

3. To me, and many others, you are successful as a writer, would you agree? What does literary success look like to you?

That’s very kind of you to say so and I can’t deny that I have enjoyed some level of success as an author – just in terms of the number of books I’ve had published and the properties I’ve worked on, including Doctor Who, Robin of Sherwood and Star Wars – but there is still so much more to be achieved.

I’ve never made much money from my writing, so literary success to me would mean financial security, signing a significant deal with a large publishing house, having a title in the Sunday Times or New York Times best-seller lists, and maybe having one of my books made into a movie. But ultimately, at the moment I’m successful enough to keep doing what I’m doing, which is writing, which is what I love.

 

4. You have written a huge number of books and contributions to collections, including the Pax Britannia series and the Fighting Fantasy adventure gamebooks. Does writing energize or exhaust you?

Both! When it’s going well writing gives you the greatest buzz, along with that satisfaction of seeing your book in print, thumbing through the pages and pointing it out to friends and family in bookshops. However, after a really good writing day I’m also useless the next.

Because of the nature of my working life at the moment, having a part-time job to go to in the afternoon, I rarely having amazing writing days as I have at times in the past (because I’m not able to work long enough for that to happen) but equally I don’t find myself wiped out the next day. I just keep plodding along, from one day to the next.

 

5. Ulysses Quicksilver is dashing dandy, defender of ‘this green and pleasant land’, heroic, handsome (well I think so) from the Pax Britannia books; did anyone in the real world (apart from you) influence his formation and, if/when they get around to making the film, who would you like to play him?

Oh yes, he’s definitely handsome! But that’s funny that you should mention that I’m one of the character’s influences, because, intentionally or not, I think that’s true. It’s an occupational hazard for writers, imbuing their characters with their own qualities, and it’s almost inevitable when you develop one character over so many books. (I recently read a book by a friend, and I could see aspects of her in both the main protagonists in the story.)

I sometimes describe Ulysses Quicksilver as being a cross between Sherlock Holmes, James Bond and Oscar Wilde, but there’s probably a little bit of Doctor Who in there too. In terms of who would play him in a film, I could envisage someone like Julian Rhind-Tutt or Paul Bettany being a good fit, although they’re getting a little old to play him now, as Ulysses is in his late thirties. I started writing the character when I was in my thirties, so he was about the same age as I was at the time of writing the first Pax Britannia novel. However, ten years have passed since then but only about two years have passed in the Pax Britannia universe.

 

6. Do you hide any secrets in your books that only a few people will find?

I have a bad habit of including all sorts of pop culture references in my books. For example, in the Pax Britannia novel Anno Frankenstein, a missing German zeppelin had the serial number NCC-1701, which is the registration number of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek.

Another reference that I’m not sure if anyone has spotted appears in the Warhammer Path to Victory gamebook Shadows Over Sylvania, where a vampire queen quotes Sean Connery’s opening words from the movie Highlander.

 

7. How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?

I’m not sure that it changed it, but it definitely crystallised it. I hadn’t written a full-length book before I was actually commissioned to do so. After leaving school, and while I was at universe, I tried out for the Fighting Fantasy series. Two years, two completely different ideas and three re-writes later, I was commissioned to write Spellbreaker.

Thanks to the way the commissioning process worked, when you sent in a pitch for an FF book, you had to write the first quarter and outline the rest in detail. As a result, I have always planned my stories and books before I start writing them. I still do it, even if it’s for a short story that I am writing for myself.

 

8. You write gamebooks, Doctor Who adventures, Christmas ‘infotainment’, colouring books, Speculative/Science Fiction, Fantasy. How do you balance making demands on the reader with taking care of the reader?

 I remember an editor telling me once to trust the reader; you don’t have to spell everything out for them – let them do some of the heavy-lifting. However, when world-building you want to make sure you give your readers enough information so that know what’s going on, or where the action is taking place, but you don’t need to do that in the form of a massive info-dump. Reveal bits and pieces of information as necessary, maybe not explaining everything straight away, but expand upon it later.

You don’t actually need very much information to let the reader know where a scene is taking place, who the people involved are and what they’re like, what it is they need to do or what it is they’re after. But ultimately I feel that it’s better for a reader to be confused than bored; if they’re confused they’ll keep reading to find out what’s going on, but if they’re bored they’ll stop reading.

When it comes to adventure gamebooks, these days at least, I try hard to make sure that the game part of the book is fair, so that it one way I do try to take care of the reader.

 

9. What can we expect next from your busy pen?

As I’ve already said, I’m currently writing YOU ARE THE HERO Part 2, which is a supplement to YOU ARE THE HERO – A History of Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks, but out in May/June is my new gamebook, The Wicked Wizard of Oz. I also have short stories appearing in several anthologies later this year – Clockwork Cairo, Further Associate of Sherlock Holmes and Tales of the Lost Isles – and I’ve contributed to another Doctor Who book which will out by Christmas.

    

1. And finally, what is your favourite childhood book?

That’s a tricky one. I don’t like ‘favourites’ style questions, because I like so many different things for so many reasons, and my answer can change depending on my mood. However, up there would have to be A Dictionary of Monsters and Mysterious Beasts (a non-fiction book by Carey Miller), the Fighting Fantasy gamebook Deathtrap Dungeon (by Ian Livingstone), Where the Wild Things Are (by Maurice Sendak), and Farmer Giles of Ham (by J R R Tolkien).

 

Thank you to Jonathan for ‘taking part’ today (You won a cuddly toy!) and if Mr Rhind-Tutt or Mr Bettany (or younger versions!) are available, someone get Ulysses Quicksilver onto the big screen please.

To find out more about his current projects visit http://www.JonathanGreenAuthor.com and follow him on Twitter @jonathangreen.

 

 

 

 

Join me next time for Sam Stone ‘Horror Queen’.

‘Good Mo-orning, e-ev’ryone!’

Yes, I know it’s a misquote – (my blog!)

So, I was thinking about how we misquote or remember famous lines incorrectly and decided that I would seek out the correct one’s, just for you dear readers – I spent some time rewatching old movies, sections of movies and looking up literary passages.

I suppose it depends where in the world you are, whether or not these famous lines have become part of general usage, you know when you wake and say “I love the smell of coffee in the morning.” ? Do you know who you’re mis-quoting? Ever get the urge to say, “You lookin’ at me?” ? – I do, ALL of the time, that’s just me then is it? O-Kay…

For your delectation I’ve compiled an eclectic mix of movie and book lines, said by characters, that have entered our current zeitgeist, you might be surprised how your memory played tricks…

 

“You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!” Charlie Croker – The Italian Job.

“Play it!” Rick Blaine – Casablanca.

“You talkin’ to me?” Travis Bickle – Taxi Driver.

“Elementary.” Sherlock Holmes – The Crooked Man.

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore – Apocalypse Now

“Alright, Mr. Demille, I’m ready for my close up.” – Norma Desmond – Sunset Boulevard

“I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Blanche Dubois – A Streetcar Named Desire.

“Please sir, I want some more.” Oliver Twist – Oliver.

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Rhett Butler – Gone With The Wind.

“There is no place like home.” Dorothy Gale – The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

“Mine’s Bond- James Bond.” James Bond – Casino Royale.

“I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” Howard Beale – Network.

“Live long and prosper.” Lieutenant Spock – Star Trek.

“Call me Ishmael.” Ishmael – Moby Dick.

“You’ve got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Harry Callahan – Dirty Harry.

“He-e-e-e-re’s Johnny!” Jack Torrence – The Shining.

“Stupid is as stupid does”, Forrest Gump – Forrest Gump.

“Say hello to my little friend!” Tony Montana – Scarface.

 

And pretty much anything said by any character from Shakespeare’s plays!

I think I selected these because, at one time or another, I have used these lines (albeit a little crookedly and adapted to the occassion).

Feeling irked at a colleague? Put your best Rhett Butler face on and say the line! Go on I dare you! You might even want to go all Oliver on your boss!

So until next time, go and hunt out your favourite quotes, try them out on some unsuspecting sap and enjoy the results, in the words of The Terminator –

“I’ll be back!”

Dicking About…

I’m supposed to be writing – after all, I am a writer (I think, no I am, really). I’m supposed to be working on the novel I began for National Novel Writing Month, you may remember I wrote a couple of posts on this, during and at the end. It was a frantic time, but I met the 50,000 word mark, I was delighted with myself.

However, it needed completing. I’m not a complete twit, I do know that 50,000 words does not a novel make, especially if it is of the fantasy/sci-fi fiction genres; these tend towards the ginormous (not that I am ever going to create anything ginormous), 100,000 – 115,000 seems to be typical. Writers Digest.com has some good examples of how long your future creations should be.

In short:
80,000 – 89,999:       Totally cool
90,000 – 99,999:       Generally safe
70,000 – 79,999:       Might be too short; probably all right
100,000 – 109,999:    Might be too long; probably all right
Below 70,000:           Too short
110,000 or above       Too long

So you can see where I hover at the moment – Totally Uncool! Even though I wrote another 10,000. I also scrubbed an equal amount.

Then my daughter, home from Uni for Christmas, went and threw me a curveball. She asked three questions, THREE, that’s all. Two, I could answer (just), but one threw me for a loop. I hadn’t actually considered WHY, the society I was building, was doing what it was doing. In my fevered-little-writers-dungeon of a mind, it just was. Ah, now I was stuck. So I decided to ignore that problem (for the moment). Then I found another problem, this was equally as hard to answer, but from a science/techno perspective – how does one get a second sun on planet Earth???!!! Ah, stuck again.

I kept ploughing away at other sections/chapters – I don’t tend to write in chapters per say, and because I had not resolved two or three issues, it has ground to a halt. I have decided I need to step away from this one, let it rest a while and work on something else ( I generally have a few things going at once)

And so, we’re back to – I’m supposed to be writing. Instead I have been checking my FB account, my Twitter account, looking at other people’s blogs and trying to put my face onto a Star Trek character. I know, that last one piqued your interest didn’t it? There are a number of sites where you can squish a photo of your lovely self into a gap where the well-known characters face should appear;

http://www.faceinhole.com/v2/createScenario.asp?maskid={12D45BD4-D90A-44B3-8213-7ED0EF5EC08B}

http://www.trekyourself.com

http://trekkietar.framiq.com/?av=bt-000-002_bg-000-001_bl-000-002_sh-000-002_fc-000-005_eb-006-012_ey-005-003_no-005-000_mo-010-000_mu-004-023_hr-003-001#.WIIw77emnIU

These are three of them, in case you’re interested. It all began on FB, where someone had done one of those ‘quizzy’ things, What’s You Identity in Star Trek?

http://en.meow-share.com/test/newtest/2461/790553827739403/20170118/en-img251.meow-share.com/index_new/

I got Captain. YAY! (Have you guessed yet that I’m a Star Trek fan?!) and proceeded to massage my ego by putting myself in Captain Janeway’s body. There was barely enough room in there for one woman, let alone herself and a sad middle-aged woman with middle-aged spread. But finally, I squeezed my stupid face in. And now it’s about three hours later, and this – Word Press – is all the writing I have done today. I have my writers group tonight and will probably own up to having dicked around all day, I’m like that; I have little shame.

Oh, and here’s the result of todays ‘dicking about’…

Worth it eh?!

 

 

                                Spot the difference!