Who’s The Best Mum In The World?

Okay, I’m going to get this off my chest once and for all. I have not spoken about parenting before. But I can’t bear it anymore; so many stories I hear about child rearing infuriate me! Really make my blood boil!

But I’m no expert, I’ll tell you that right off. I know someone is going to say, ‘Who does she think she is? One child?’ Yes, I have 1, singular, an only, child.

It was a choice we deliberated over – did we want to have a child? Could we afford to bring a child into the world? Were we going to be a burden on the state? What skills did we have to look after another human life? Were we mentally and emotionally mature enough to bring up a child?

Who knew it could be so hard, so demanding, so exhausting, and heartwarming?

My ‘child’ is now a 20-year-old; a young woman. She is studying away at university. I feel I have done a good job (with some assistance from the hubby). On her 20th Birthday, I thought, ‘I did it. I got her to adulthood confident that she is a pretty well-rounded human being with a strong sense of who she is and what she wants from life. Job done’. I have worked with college students for almost 13 years. They tell me their problems, I see their physical, mental and emotional development on show daily, so I have a pretty good idea of what the results of parenting can be. So you want to be a parent?….

1. Forget about ‘rights’ – we all have the right to have a baby, I hear someone wail – really? You think? What about the child’s rights to be nurtured and loved and fed correctly and clothed and schooled and nursed and so on and so forth. You do not have to have children. It is NOT ‘what you do’ because everyone else does it! I see so many young mothers with multiple offspring who complain about their kids! You made a choice – get on with it! And use contraception next time!

2. Children come first. YOU hold sole responsibility for your child before he/she starts school. YOU are the primary carer – ALWAYS! Get over yourself if you think that your interests are more important than your child’s well-being.

Child-Blowing-Her-Nose
Give everyone relief, by teaching your youngster how to blow her nose!

3. Stop handing over responsibility! Teach your child something before he/she goes to school – for Christ’s sake!!!! It is NOT the schools job to teach your child how to – use a knife and fork, tie her shoelaces, blow his nose, wipe her bottom, fasten shirt buttons, tie his school tie, pronounce his name correctly, write her own name, recall own home address, learn some manners. All these, my daughter could do before attending Nursery school aged 3 1/2. No, she isn’t a child genius – she was prepared.

Parents who avoid teaching children how to tie shoelaces are ‘hindering their development’ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/11843223/Parents-who-avoid-teaching-children-how-to-tie-shoelaces-are-hindering-their-development.html

teach-child-tie-shoelace
Don’t let your kid be that one at college who can’t tie his laces – everyone will laugh at him!

4. Do not leave it all up to the schools. It is your job, as the parent, to prepare your offspring for the world at large. It is your job to make an independent human being. It is your job to ensure your child has the confidence and where-with-all to go forwards without you. I think our society, media, needs to stop blaming teachers when something goes awry with a child. We also need to stop blaming Social Workers, when a childs life is in danger – I notice with astonishing regularity that blame is laid heavily on the Workers and little on parents. These people do the jobs they do because they are excited and driven to help young people – your children, not theirs, yours!

‘Teachers can only ever have a small impact on their students’ results – yet they are judged as if they are 100% responsible’ https://www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-views/teachers-can-only-ever-have-a-small-impact-their-students-results

children-who-eat-too-much-sugar-are-developing-diseases-that-only-alcoholics-used-to-get
Remember what happened to Augustus?!

5. What are you putting in your child’s mouth?! Come on really? You didn’t know that sugar was bad for their teeth? The number of Primary School aged children in the UK having multiple fillings and extractions has risen dramatically. It is frankly shocking that anyone could allow this to happen to their child. Fizzy drinks and chocolates and shitty kids cereals. All the information is there – read the ingredients dumb ass. SUGAR BAD. OKAY? Buy a recipe book. Get online recipes. Sit down as a family for meals. It isn’t that hard, you can’t afford to be lazy if you’re going to be a parent.

‘The number of children aged four and under being hospitalised for tooth extractions has risen by almost a quarter in the last decade, new figures have revealedhttp://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/tooth-decay-teeth-remove-children-hospitalised-numbers-up-10-years-quarter-25-per-cent-a7640031.html

progression_tooth_decay4
This is a form of child abuse. Stop it!

6. If you annoy me is it ok for me to hit you?! At college, we can often spot the teen who has been smacked by his parent/s. Stop it. Just, stop. There is absolutely NEVER any need to smack a child. You are the grown-up, find a way to deal. Babies and Toddlers are not naughty, really; they are exploring the world around them – so you’re going to make them angry at the world from an early age – just because you are?! Grow up.

‘Children who are smacked by parents ‘more likely to grow up to be ABUSIVE’ https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/889028/Smacking-child-abuse-parents-more-likely-become-abusive-domestic-violence

7. And finally, young folk – Take no notice of those teachers who tell you that your GCSE choices will be the ‘most important’ you will ever make. I tell my students – “There are only two decisions that you will make in life that are the most important. One– should I spend the rest of my life with this person? And Two – should I bring another human being into the world? That’s it, all the rest is gravy.

wellbaby-tmagArticle
There’s going to be a lot of this; buckle up.

So in the words of that 1970s advert – Think before you drink, before you drive, Think before you bring another human into the world!

Best Mum In The World? Well maybe not, but my daughter thinks so.  smileyface

 

FAST 24 – Raising Money For Unicef Children

I do not usually post none-writer items on here. But this is something I feel strongly about and I am posting on every social media site I possibly can.

Right now, millions of children are in danger. They face violence, disease, hunger and the chaos of war. Unicef ensures more children get life-saving food, vaccinations, education and protection than anyone else. Today, children in places like Syria, South Sudan and Yemen are caught up in violent conflict, with millions forced to flee their homes. In 2015, Unicef responded to 310 emergencies in 102 countries. Please donate what ever you can to my fundraiser for Unicef UK. With your help, we can build a safer world for children.

I am a parent. I have one child – a teenager now – but she will always be my child, no matter what age. The thought of anyone or anything harming her, makes me distraught (just thinking about it). I am a coward, I like the idea of being pro-active and getting out there and doing something – but I can’t. I’m scared. So, I am choosing to do a 24 hour fast to raise a bit of money for those children who are less safe than my child is.

Imagine, if you will if you are a parent, watching your child go without food today- no food AT ALL. Now imagine that there is no food tomorrow – AT ALL. Repeat ad nauseum…

If you can donate, please do, and thank you in advance. If you can’t afford to, tell someone who you know can. Visit:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Alexandra-McD

And, Thank You.

Remembrance Poem

I wish I could have thought of a better, more fitting title. I wish I could write poetry better. There’s nothing worse than feeling the urge to write something in response to a tragedy, and not having the appropriately honed skills for the job. But the urge was too great.

To learn more about the Aberfan disaster, visit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aberfan_disaster

 

Aberfan 

Black. The valley was turning black

Where the basilisk slumbered.

 

The beast’s heel slides,

Starting slowly, rising fast,

A tremendous speed.

Turning itself into a pitch-dark wave; wet, wild,

Down towards the mountain

Down towards the village

Diving into the mist.

 

Roaring like a jet plane,

Screaming through the fog.

Scales glistening black.

It gorges itself on trees, on rocks, on homes.

Swelling to fantastical enormity

In its murderous descent.

 

Gathering speed,

It tips the sky

Arcing over the Green Hollow,

Dashing itself against the saint, slain martyr.

Its tail lashes the church bells tongue,

Black-dusted.

Vomiting death.

 

All. Is. Silent.

Nature is speechless.

 

Bent beneath the disregarding sky

Headlamps lit,

Raw hands rake polished bile.

Salt the spoil.

Pierce the calcified hide.

 

And within the belly of the beast

A boy waits.

With death on his shoulder.

 

The Unsinkable Molly Brown

Molly Brown, a runaway orphan heads out to sea as the unlikely Captain of a Pirate ship. Meeting new and unusual friends on the way, including a talking cat, she is a fearless, imaginative and feisty girl. Aimed at readers aged 8 to 12 years.

TheUnsinkableMollyBrown

 A number of years ago a film hit the big screens – a story of love, bravery, inspiration and the British class system – that film was Titanic, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. I thought it was a disaster – much like it’s theme of the titular, doomed vessel. It began me on one of my mini obsessions. I began reading about the real Titanic, its construction, the men involved in its design and realisation, the great day of launch and the journey. A huge, stylish floating village with everyone in his or her place. The nobs at the top, the poor Irish in the lower decks and engine room. We all know what happened. But one person really stood out for me, Margaret Brown (July 18, 1867 – October 26, 1932). She  was an American socialite, philanthropist, and activist who became famous because of her survival of the  of the Titanic disaster.  She took command of the lifeboat she was placed into and demanded the crew of the lifeboat to return to look for survivors.  She became known after her death as “The Unsinkable Molly Brown”, and her image loomed large in my mind. Wasn’t this the sort of role model/heroine our young girls should look to, not the skinny models and ego fragile celebs flaunted daily in the media? And so I wrote my book for my daughter. It took a long time – too long. By the time I decided to self-publish, she was too old to read the printed copy, but she did act as my proof-reader when she was a child. Bless her.